If I came with some Golden Arches it Would say ONE BILLION SERVED!
I lived in the bathhouses in the early 70s in Seattle …. There was many to attend but I had my favorite two or three…. Back in those days we live there every Friday Saturday and Sunday… indeed the best times being naked and getting my fill of dicks to sucking and riding to my pleasure…. Then moving to LA in 1980… searching for bathhouses here…. Only to finding dozens… but the it hit …. AIDS!! Change all perspectives in gay life…. I was frightened to further attending out of fear…. Which is where I believe I got the virus…. Here I am now much later as long term survivor into my “Gay grandpa years” now
I wish I had the spark of other men touching me and getting fucked again …. Before I die…
Thank you Mike so much for your mind set on this …. I would love the glory days back in my life…
I think another factor is age. As we get older, we become less desirable to a gay community that, like the straight community, focuses on youth. Older men - unless you're rich or 'stacked', tend to become invisible. Take 'gay art', for example... typically depict young fit bodies. Often I think it's the artist's own wet dream. Straight oppression aside, we can be our own worst enemies.
What’s replaced the bathhouse for me: gay camping. It doesn’t meet all the requirements discussed in the article, but probably 80-90% of them. The one we frequent has a pool, sauna, steamroom, hot tubs, a bar, dance floor, communing around the fire, leather events, drag events, a play space, etc, etc. It’s really amazing.
That sounds like some wonderful gay camping, Sean. Are you able to share a link to that event, or is it private?
The biggest gay camping club in Southern California has fun camping, but it decidedly sex-negative. You might as well be on a straight Carnival Cruise excursion: beautiful sights to see, but keep all the gay stuff in your tent.
We go to Roseland (link above), but there are a couple like it in PA (Hillside, the Woods). I understand that there are some similar ones in Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, and the Midwest. It’s a shame that the SoCal one is so uptight.
As gay vacations go, it’s like a land-based cruise. You wear clothes or not, drink or not, play around or not, dance or not… it’s super chill. They have accommodations ranging from tent campsites to cabins to hotel-type rooms. I highly recommend it.
there still ARE gay venues where guys get naked, sexy and kinky. But they've become more private, selective, and accessible only to people who are in some 'loop', and get invited. In this regard, they've become less gay-communal and more gay-exclusive. We can thank social media for that.
I'm sure many of these groups select-OUT people who are "fats, femmes" or HIV+.
I hope I'm wrong.
I love your articles and insights, Mike. Keep them coming.
Thank you for the kind words, Peter. You're right about private, selective "in some loop" events. Even before social media, exclusive groups existed, especially in the kinky community. Leaders of those groups needed to weed out the drunks, and loud mouths who could put other men in the group at risk of being arrested for breaking sodomy and kink laws. They met these guys in public spaces, then were invited to a private social event, then invited to the sex and play events.
Since public play/sex spaces have been disallowed, the old rules remain in effect.
Only, now, its even harder...
With "gay bars" overrun with guys in flip flops bringing their best girl-friends, cruising and discussing kink compatibility takes a back seat to making her feel comfortable. So we now talk about how hard it was to find parking and asking is SHE is okay in our space rather than the other way around.
My husband and I have thrown a few private, selective, naked, sexy and kinky parties ourselves. Those are fun, but the logistics of planning and inviting an exclusive group is not the same spontaneous energy that occurs in a bathhouse.
Additionally, current "queer" politics vilifies anyone throwing an event designed to cater to only one group, especially if that group is made up of men. So that also has a chilling effect on creating a sex space for men.
How can I help?
If I came with some Golden Arches it Would say ONE BILLION SERVED!
I lived in the bathhouses in the early 70s in Seattle …. There was many to attend but I had my favorite two or three…. Back in those days we live there every Friday Saturday and Sunday… indeed the best times being naked and getting my fill of dicks to sucking and riding to my pleasure…. Then moving to LA in 1980… searching for bathhouses here…. Only to finding dozens… but the it hit …. AIDS!! Change all perspectives in gay life…. I was frightened to further attending out of fear…. Which is where I believe I got the virus…. Here I am now much later as long term survivor into my “Gay grandpa years” now
I wish I had the spark of other men touching me and getting fucked again …. Before I die…
Thank you Mike so much for your mind set on this …. I would love the glory days back in my life…
Roberto R Gonzalez
I think another factor is age. As we get older, we become less desirable to a gay community that, like the straight community, focuses on youth. Older men - unless you're rich or 'stacked', tend to become invisible. Take 'gay art', for example... typically depict young fit bodies. Often I think it's the artist's own wet dream. Straight oppression aside, we can be our own worst enemies.
What’s replaced the bathhouse for me: gay camping. It doesn’t meet all the requirements discussed in the article, but probably 80-90% of them. The one we frequent has a pool, sauna, steamroom, hot tubs, a bar, dance floor, communing around the fire, leather events, drag events, a play space, etc, etc. It’s really amazing.
That sounds like some wonderful gay camping, Sean. Are you able to share a link to that event, or is it private?
The biggest gay camping club in Southern California has fun camping, but it decidedly sex-negative. You might as well be on a straight Carnival Cruise excursion: beautiful sights to see, but keep all the gay stuff in your tent.
It’s not an event really, just a clothing optional campground:
https://www.roselandwv.com
We go to Roseland (link above), but there are a couple like it in PA (Hillside, the Woods). I understand that there are some similar ones in Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, and the Midwest. It’s a shame that the SoCal one is so uptight.
As gay vacations go, it’s like a land-based cruise. You wear clothes or not, drink or not, play around or not, dance or not… it’s super chill. They have accommodations ranging from tent campsites to cabins to hotel-type rooms. I highly recommend it.
Love this Mike. Yes, I'm absolutely willing to get involved.
there still ARE gay venues where guys get naked, sexy and kinky. But they've become more private, selective, and accessible only to people who are in some 'loop', and get invited. In this regard, they've become less gay-communal and more gay-exclusive. We can thank social media for that.
I'm sure many of these groups select-OUT people who are "fats, femmes" or HIV+.
I hope I'm wrong.
I love your articles and insights, Mike. Keep them coming.
Thank you for the kind words, Peter. You're right about private, selective "in some loop" events. Even before social media, exclusive groups existed, especially in the kinky community. Leaders of those groups needed to weed out the drunks, and loud mouths who could put other men in the group at risk of being arrested for breaking sodomy and kink laws. They met these guys in public spaces, then were invited to a private social event, then invited to the sex and play events.
Since public play/sex spaces have been disallowed, the old rules remain in effect.
Only, now, its even harder...
With "gay bars" overrun with guys in flip flops bringing their best girl-friends, cruising and discussing kink compatibility takes a back seat to making her feel comfortable. So we now talk about how hard it was to find parking and asking is SHE is okay in our space rather than the other way around.
My husband and I have thrown a few private, selective, naked, sexy and kinky parties ourselves. Those are fun, but the logistics of planning and inviting an exclusive group is not the same spontaneous energy that occurs in a bathhouse.
Additionally, current "queer" politics vilifies anyone throwing an event designed to cater to only one group, especially if that group is made up of men. So that also has a chilling effect on creating a sex space for men.
You should come to nyc and see the play “bathhouse.pptx” at the Flea theater. It’s really good! https://theflea.org/shows/bathhouse-pptx/