A Gay Critique of LGBTQ+ Identity Ideology

What it feels like to get nothing from LGBTQ+ gender identity ideology culture.

As I prepare to leave for the Gay Men’s Conference happening this Saturday in London, I’ve been forced to engage with the term “gender identity ideology” found at the top of the conference’s website.

I thought I had a firm grasp on “gender identity,” but the word “ideology” kind of threw me, so I looked it up.

Ideology: a system of ideas and ideals, especially one which forms the basis of economic or political theory and policy.

So, ideology is basically a package of ideas, a container, a theory, or maybe even a religion. The letters “...ism” very often point out an ideology: liberalism, fascism, feminism, capitalism…

I was raised within a religious ideology called Mormonism. It was a container that provided fellowship, purpose, and a place to fit in as long as I was careful to stick to the theory and policy of the organization.

The contemporary LGBTQ+ container provides fellowship, purpose, and a place to fit in as long as a person sticks to its theory and policy.

The effect of gender identity ideology policy is that demographic identity is all that matters.

Who I am as a person doesn’t mean squat. What matters are my demographics. My cis white same-sex attracted status is all that matters.

And there is a clear delineation between the demographic identity of good people and the demographic identity of bad people. The more power you have, the more bad you are. The more white you are, the more bad you are. The more classically cis and male you are, the more bad you are.

To belong, we are required to self-flagellate, agreeing that our inherent male nature is toxic, to sit down, shut up, and to look for ways to center the good letters of the LGBTQIA2S+ container, with zero plans to address the needs of LGBs.

My experience at the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) Justice Conference, as a Lambda Literary Fellow, as International Mister Leather, in plant medicine circles (in Los Angeles), and as a 23-year career bureaucrat at the City of West Hollywood (which has one of the largest gay populations of any city) have led me to these conclusions.

Same-sex attracted people need to shut up and move to the back of the line.

The punishment for going against these ideologies is banishment. Religion calls it “excommunication,” and the contemporary LGBTQ+ container calls it “being canceled.”

What many are unable to see, or willfully ignore, is that the LGBTQ+ container kind of sucks for same-sex attracted people right now, especially cis white gay men, who, as I said before, must accept the role of the toxic oppressor who takes up too much space.

Excommunicating LGBTQ+ members who do not tow the party line is causing the extinction of same-sex serving clubs and organizations. Since it is so easy to fail the purity test of identity ideology, existing clubs are being culled through summary executions (being canceled). Its effect has nearly decimated the Los Angeles Leather Coalition.

Canceling people feels good, but it can cause potential leaders to lose interest in leadership positions or starting something new. You are almost certain to be excoriated for your efforts.

The tyranny of inclusion makes it impossible to have a safe same-sex space. This means that gay men, lesbians, cis-women, and cis-men are culturally and legally prohibited from having space where they can get together for compassion, belonging, and fellowship.

Gay men dodge this, to some degree, by having pop-up sex parties, but even some of those dark rooms are now roamed by women.

Honestly, are you surprised so many men are turned off by the “progressive” party line? Even brown and black men moved over to the scary orange man’s container rather than stay in the one telling them that they were toxic oppressors.

Interestingly, the LGBTQ+ container also tells me that leaving the container to address the concerns I have with other gay men is yet another sin. I was told, personally, from the stage at the NGLTF Justice Conference that leaving is a form of violence.

Even though my only role in the container is to be nothing more than a receptacle of all the pain of injustice perpetrated by people of my sex and race, I am not supposed to leave. I am supposed to sit there and take it.

The fact that I get nothing from the relationship does not appear to be a concern.

That’s why I’m getting on a plane tomorrow.

On the other end of that ten-hour flight is a group of cis gay men with whom I hope to find compassion, belonging, fellowship, and purpose.

It’s not here in LA. Not yet.